Posts by George W Bush

5

Eulogy for Uday and Qusay

by George W Bush in

jw
friends

saddam hussein may deliver the eulogy at a state funeral for his sons, uday and qusay, who died suddenly today in mosul.

the elder hussein was invited to speak at the funeral by the commander of allied ground forces in iraq, army lt. gen. ricardo sanchez.

"we understand the emotions triggered by the death of one's sons," said lt. gen. sanchez.

George W Bush

Aaaah Mr Satan I see you've found out the truth. Americans are defecting to Iraq. I knew that would come out eventually.

Would you be interested in purchasing a couple of oil wells I have in Montana?

23

U.S. Admits it Faked Hussein Brothers' Deaths

by George W Bush in

(2003-07-25) -- the white house announced today that the u.s. does not really have the dead bodies of uday and qusay hussein, and the two are still on the loose somewhere in iraq.. .

"we showed those fake pictures yesterday in hopes of re-establishing some credibility with the iraqis," said an unnamed senior white house official.

"we just thought we had to do something after we lied about saddam's weapons of mass destruction.

U.S. Admits it Faked Hussein Brothers' Deaths

by George W Bush in

(2003-07-25) -- the white house announced today that the u.s. does not really have the dead bodies of uday and qusay hussein, and the two are still on the loose somewhere in iraq.. .

"we showed those fake pictures yesterday in hopes of re-establishing some credibility with the iraqis," said an unnamed senior white house official.

"we just thought we had to do something after we lied about saddam's weapons of mass destruction.

George W Bush

It's so reassuring that republicans:
speak only truth in plane language,
have sex only w their spouces (never on sundays),
smoke only legal tobbacco,
steal money fairly,
kill only scumbags that deserve to be killed......
SS

I am glad to be able to reassure you. I always sleep well when I turn someone away from darkness.

5

Eulogy for Uday and Qusay

by George W Bush in

jw
friends

saddam hussein may deliver the eulogy at a state funeral for his sons, uday and qusay, who died suddenly today in mosul.

the elder hussein was invited to speak at the funeral by the commander of allied ground forces in iraq, army lt. gen. ricardo sanchez.

"we understand the emotions triggered by the death of one's sons," said lt. gen. sanchez.

George W Bush

I appreciate your concerns, hopefully this message will be easier to understand. I've been working on slogans for countries that don't have any. See what you think of these.

Afghanistan -- Celebrating 25 years of civil war

Argentina -- Where everyone has a chance to be president...literally.

Australia -- 9 out of 10 of the most venomous snakes in the world can't be wrong.

Belgium -- At least we're not as bad as France.

Bosnia -- The official entrance to hell since 1991.

Canada -- We needed a slogan, eh. So Joe thought this one up. Canada, it's not just moose and bad beer, eh... we've got trees.

China -- Communism is the best! Don't believe us?! We'll run you over with tanks!!

Cuba -- Not all of us have defected...yet.

Colombia -- And you think coffee is our biggest export to the USA?

France -- No really, we surrender. Yes, take our women. Jews? Sure, we've got plenty of those. Grab a baguette, just don't hurt us.

Iceland -- Oh don't mind us, we do nothing at all.

Mexico -- Reclaiming the South-Western United States one border jumper at a time.

North Korea -- We're one big (un)happy family.

Philippines -- Come for the scenery, stay till your ransom is paid.

Saudi Arabia -- Religious fanatics, terrorism, and fat tyrants in bathrobes who run the country. What's not to love?

Serbia -- We like diversity. It provides training for our soldiers.

South Korea -- The first one who says something about us eating dogs gets a punch in the nose.

Syria - We see a friend, you see a terrorist.

Switzerland -- So neutral it hurts...or it doesn't...we don't care.

Zaire -- 25 revolutions in 10 years and we're still going strong!

23

U.S. Admits it Faked Hussein Brothers' Deaths

by George W Bush in

(2003-07-25) -- the white house announced today that the u.s. does not really have the dead bodies of uday and qusay hussein, and the two are still on the loose somewhere in iraq.. .

"we showed those fake pictures yesterday in hopes of re-establishing some credibility with the iraqis," said an unnamed senior white house official.

"we just thought we had to do something after we lied about saddam's weapons of mass destruction.

Have you ever noticed that famous Democrats like Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, and Jessie Jackson seem to lie all the time? Well they're not really lying! You just need to learn to speak Democrat. That's why I've created this handy, dandy, translation guide so you can understand what Democrats actually mean.

Our opponents refuse to compromise on this issue: The Republicans refuse to do everything we want.

That charge is outrageous: That charge is true but you shouldn't have brought it up in public.

We're united behind president Bush in this time of crisis for our country: We're going to cut president Bush off at the knees every chance we get.

Honey I need a little quiet time right now: I got drunk and drove a car containing a campaign worker I was boffing off a bridge. She's dead, the car is at the bottom of a tidal pool, and I have influential relatives to call and people to bribe before I call the cops so can you cut me a little slack?

Every vote must be counted in this election: Except for the military vote because they tend to go Republican.

The era of big government is over: But the era of Godzilla sized government is just beginning if I can help it.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman: We had sex on every piece of furniture in the White House.

I think we need to take a closer look at what's going on in this industry: I think we need to strangle this industry with red tape and new regulations until it's so screwed up that we have to take over.

We must address the root causes of this problem: We must not do anything to effectively address this problem. Instead we must raise taxes and pour dump trucks worth of money into whatever unrelated issue we have decided is the cause of the problem.

No justice, no peace: Give us money and we'll find someone else to bother.

He's in the pocket of big oil: He was once seen filling up the tank of his car with gas.

I didn't inhale: I was so stoned that I thought I could fly.

I have no information about where my former intern is: That's technically true. I told the guys I hired to kill her that I didn't want to know any details.

74

So, will you be voting for Bush next time?

by czarofmischief in

.

when the election rolls around, will you be pulling the lever for w?

i will, unless somebody comes along with the offer of free supermodels for me.. czar

George W Bush

Reborn ,
Call me slow there but why is my name so appropriate?

Well Redneck I believe that's one of those darn uncivilized remarks that Simon doesn't let Dakota make around here lest he be kicked off the site again.

74

So, will you be voting for Bush next time?

by czarofmischief in

.

when the election rolls around, will you be pulling the lever for w?

i will, unless somebody comes along with the offer of free supermodels for me.. czar

George W Bush

Speaking of voting I found it interesting when I came across this article.....

Bill Clinton Declares California Residency

(2003-07-24) -- William Jefferson Clinton, a professional public speaker, said today that he is officially a resident of the state of California. Mr. Clinton said his move "is" unrelated to the gubernatorial recall election coming up this fall.

"I've always been a Californian in my heart," said Mr. Clinton. "Although I had not heard of the recall situation, I am, of course, a servant of the people. Let the will of the citizens be done."

23

U.S. Admits it Faked Hussein Brothers' Deaths

by George W Bush in

(2003-07-25) -- the white house announced today that the u.s. does not really have the dead bodies of uday and qusay hussein, and the two are still on the loose somewhere in iraq.. .

"we showed those fake pictures yesterday in hopes of re-establishing some credibility with the iraqis," said an unnamed senior white house official.

"we just thought we had to do something after we lied about saddam's weapons of mass destruction.

George W Bush

(2003-07-25) -- The White House announced today that the U.S. does not really have the dead bodies of Uday and Qusay Hussein, and the two are still on the loose somewhere in Iraq.

"We showed those fake pictures yesterday in hopes of re-establishing some credibility with the Iraqis," said an unnamed senior White House official. "We just thought we had to do something after we lied about Saddam's weapons of mass destruction. So we figured another little lie might patch things up. But then at a meeting last night, one of our top generals says, 'Hey, what do we say when Uday and Qusay turn up alive somewhere?' And, of course, no one had considered that before."

In related news, a leaked White House memo warns administration staffers to stop lying about things that can be "checked out or verified or disproved."

5

Eulogy for Uday and Qusay

by George W Bush in

jw
friends

saddam hussein may deliver the eulogy at a state funeral for his sons, uday and qusay, who died suddenly today in mosul.

the elder hussein was invited to speak at the funeral by the commander of allied ground forces in iraq, army lt. gen. ricardo sanchez.

"we understand the emotions triggered by the death of one's sons," said lt. gen. sanchez.

George W Bush

Saddam Hussein may deliver the eulogy at a state funeral for his sons, Uday and Qusay, who died suddenly today in Mosul. The elder Hussein was invited to speak at the funeral by the commander of allied ground forces in Iraq, Army Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez.

"We understand the emotions triggered by the death of one's sons," said Lt. Gen. Sanchez. "So, we want Mr. Hussein to stand up there on the podium, in clear line of sight, and tell the world how special his boys were. We aim to give Saddam the respect due a leader of his caliber. I can assure you that he will have the full attention of many of our finest men."

The allied commander said Mr. Hussein's remarks would last "roughly 7.5 seconds, after which the former Iraqi leader, doubtless with a heavy heart, will return to an underground bunker."

74

So, will you be voting for Bush next time?

by czarofmischief in

.

when the election rolls around, will you be pulling the lever for w?

i will, unless somebody comes along with the offer of free supermodels for me.. czar

George W Bush

More bad news for the Democrats.

Despite charges that the Bush administration exaggerated or deceived the nation to make its case for war in Iraq, the majority of Americans still trust the president. Sixty percent of them say that Bush impresses them as a trustworthy person—the same number who responded this way during his early months in office. A total of 56 percent think he did not purposely mislead the public about evidence that Iraq possessed banned weapons-a rise of three percent from mid-July.

Most Americans—72 percent—also see the president as someone who is able to get things done, up 12 percent since he first took office in 2001. Almost half of Americans—49 percent—would like to see him reelected.

The NEWSWEEK poll was conducted by Princeton Survey Research Associates, which interviewed by telephone 1,002 adults aged 18 and older on July 24 and 25, 2003. The margin of error is plus or minus 3 percentage points.

Despite Iraq’s continuing instability, 68 percent of Americans believe that the United States did the right thing when it took military action against that country. Most of those polled—62 percent—believe that the nation is safer because the threat of Iraq is gone and the United States has indicated to other countries that it will use military force, if necessary, to protect its interests.

Note the difference between Bush's poll numbers and Clinton's. Clinton wasn't trusted, yet he had high approval ratings. Bush, despite the accusations against him, still trust him. They might not agree with everything he does, but they still trust him to do the right thing.

Just wait until we get Saddam. The lefties are screwed.

Sarandon Tired of Being Called Anti-American Just Because She Hates America


Speaking from the headquarters of the charity organization she runs, Adopt-A-Suicide- Bomber, the too-old-to-get-the-good-roles-but-not-having-enough-acting-chops-to-get-Katherine-Hepburn-parts Sarandon said that criticism of her is being organized by "wealthy elitists who don't care about social justice and income redistribution and are only interested in making money off the labor of the disadvantaged and different." Ms. Sarandon then took out a riding crop and whipped her Filipino houseboy for spilling an espresso machiato on her $8000 Christian Lacroix gown that was handsewn by Mexican immigrants working 16 hours a day at 50 cents an hour in a Tijuana sweatshop. Before she left in order to appear at a court hearing concerning a $100 million lawsuit she had brought against quadriplegic 12-year old Susie Nickles of Ames, Iowa for taping Bull Durham when it appeared on HBO, Ms. Sarandon castigated the Bush administration, which she says is characterized by "greed and disregard for working people." The actress concluded her remarks by saying, "Americans are stupid and are only interested in money and having a bourgeois lifestyle. And if any of you dress up like the character I played when you go to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show on Saturday night you better damn well send me a royalty check or I'll sue you for everything you've got!"